Was looking up the stars for tonights Comedy Festival and was surprised to see that Mitch Hedberg wasnt there. So i decided to look up where he went too, unfortunately he's been dead for since March last year. Which was a great downer for my night of Comedy. He was my favourite comic, one of a kind material, a master of delivery and super funny. His whole act was like a 100 unrelated jokes strung together that would put you on the ground panting for air and your stomach aching.
You know when you go to a concert like punk-rock and the kids get on stage and they jump into the crowd? People think that's dangerous, but not me... because humans are made of 95% water, so the audience is 5% away from a pool.
I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would be really mad if she heard me say that.
You know when you see an advertisement for a casino, and they have a picture of a guy winning money? That's false advertising, because that happens the least. That's like if you're advertising a hamburger, they could show a guy choking. "This is what happened once."
I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
I had an apartment and I had a neighbor, and whenever he would knock on my wall I knew he wanted me to turn my music down and that made me angry 'cause I like loud music... so when he knocked on the wall, I'd mess with his head. I'd say, "Go around! I cannot open the wall! I dunno if you have a doorknob on your side but over here there's nothin'. It's just flat."
This one time I was in a convenience store, and a guy came up and asked me, "What's the score?" and I said, "What is the game? If it's a competition between me and you, and the object is to ask the other guy questions he doesn't give a shit about, then you are winning, one to nothing."
Quotes of Mitch Hedberg
Google Video of Mitch Hedberg
He rocked.
You know when you go to a concert like punk-rock and the kids get on stage and they jump into the crowd? People think that's dangerous, but not me... because humans are made of 95% water, so the audience is 5% away from a pool.
I don't have a girlfriend. I just know a girl who would be really mad if she heard me say that.
You know when you see an advertisement for a casino, and they have a picture of a guy winning money? That's false advertising, because that happens the least. That's like if you're advertising a hamburger, they could show a guy choking. "This is what happened once."
I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
I had an apartment and I had a neighbor, and whenever he would knock on my wall I knew he wanted me to turn my music down and that made me angry 'cause I like loud music... so when he knocked on the wall, I'd mess with his head. I'd say, "Go around! I cannot open the wall! I dunno if you have a doorknob on your side but over here there's nothin'. It's just flat."
This one time I was in a convenience store, and a guy came up and asked me, "What's the score?" and I said, "What is the game? If it's a competition between me and you, and the object is to ask the other guy questions he doesn't give a shit about, then you are winning, one to nothing."
Quotes of Mitch Hedberg
Google Video of Mitch Hedberg
He rocked.
2 Comments:
yeah i've always enjoyed him as well. I was also very disappointed when i found out last year that he had died.
his delivery of the jokes made everything that much more funny.
yeah i've always enjoyed him as well. I was also very disappointed when i found out last year that he had died.
his delivery of the jokes made everything that much more funny.
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